Life, Lessons & Love

Before You Marry

August 6, 2021

“What you won’t do, do for love.” — Foo Fighters Meets 70’s Bobby Caldwell - Live Looping Mashup by Elise Trouw

It’s simple: get married, and then learn about all the things you should have resolved beforehand. Get divorced. Start over.

Or…

Before you get married… discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what beliefs will be installed in your children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations, family health history, bucket list, dream home, careers and education, political views, and whatever else comes to mind. Love alone is not enough.

Relationships are hard. Marriage does not make it easier! It’s merely a formal recognition of the mutual commitment to the partnership.

Within many religious traditions, it’s also a plea to God for support—often, an invitation for God to join the couple in their union. This is wise: Only the power of infinite and perfect Love will be sufficient to aid the couple in navigating the decades that follow… if there are to be decades.

The big parties and the early romance shade the romantic notions of “wedding day” and “marriage”… but decades and decades of life together are something else.

What happens next is up to the skills, wisdom, maturity, and commitment of each individual in the couple.