Life, Lessons & Love

All Of The Above

December 26, 2020

“Butterflies are free to fly away.” — Sheryl Crow - Always On Your Side (Official Music Video) ft. Sting

Perhaps the earliest foreshadowing of my growing family came in February 2003. Joanne and I had just met on Match.com and were exchanging emails to get to know each other.

Over and over, I found myself answering her questions the same way: “Both.” “All of the above.”

Chocolate or vanilla? Red or white? Beach or mountains? All of the above.

At first, it was funny. Then it became a theme—a quiet philosophy I hadn’t even realized I was living.

Not because I couldn’t make decisions. Though analytical and thoughtful, I had always been intuitive—comfortable making big decisions with very little information.

After my divorce, I needed a new place to live. A friend gave me a lead, and I visited a new townhome development in Ashburn Village. I walked through the first floor, climbed the stairs, checked out the third-floor bedroom option, came back down, asked the price, thought for about three seconds… then bought it.

It was the right call. The kids and I were happy there from December 2001 to April 2005.

In 2003, Joanne and Reagan joined us. And our house became a home.

So yes… that year, “both” and “all of the above” became my favorite answers.

For the first 20 years of my life, I was an introvert. The “few close friends” model made sense to me. I came from a family of four. That was the shape of love I knew.

But in 2001 and 2002, I learned something hard and clear: One is a lonely number.

And then, in 2003… everything changed. Joanne. Reagan. Love, in forms I hadn’t known were possible.

They invited me into deeper reflection—to be a better man, a better partner, a better father. To stretch beyond what I’d assumed was enough.

And with the experiences that accumulated over the next 16 years, I wondered:

Who should you love?

How about… all of the above.