Life, Lessons & Love

Daughters In The South Pacific

January 15, 2021

“Under this pressure, under this weight. We are diamonds.” — Coldplay - Adventure of a Lifetime (Official Video)

One of them, Reagan, was officially “mine,” the others, less so. We were headed on a Girl Scout Trip to the South Pacific.

We met with all the girls’ families several times prior to the trip to meet each other and plan our itinerary. 22 of us! Ten parents, and twelve daughters.

On the day of our flight, I met Grace’s father for the first time. We chatted about the girls. And as we concluded, we shook hands, he looked me in the eyes, and earnestly said “Watch over our daughter.” I knew that by “our” Paul meant his, and his wife’s daughter. But with daughters of my own, I understood the import of his request. And I affirmed his request knowing that I would do anything and everything within my power to protect all the girls.

We flew from Virginia to New Zealand. The adventure of a lifetime unfolded at every turn. Like a loyal German Shepherd, I followed the girls everywhere. Five of the twelve in my charge. All 17 and 18, they tended to rush ahead of the group, but I followed “my orders” to the letter. Grace was never out of my sight. …that phrase has an interesting ring to it now.

From New Zealand, we adventured to Sydney, Australia. I still fondly remember reading to my eldest daughter, Ally, about “Captain Charlie.” He was in charge of his ship! And one of his ports of call was Sydney, Australia!

I don’t think I made the connection at the time. But in hindsight, it’s easy to remember my adoration for my three-year-old, and our adventures with Captain Charlie, and observe the parallels with the girls I shepherded through Sydney.

Maya, a constant challenge. Jessica, Hayley and Reagan, the “elder” responsible girls; Reagan, my own daughter. And Grace, another angel.

After Sydney, we flew to Fiji for a few days of fun in the sun, relaxing by the pool, kayaking, and exploring life on one of the 333 islands of Fiji.

I read Distilled Spirits, and drank accordingly. But I also kayaked and explored with the girls.

Then, all too soon, our adventure was concluded.

The girls left Fiji prior to the adults.

Saying goodbye to the girls in Fiji, I hugged and kissed each of them. Two kisses on the forehead. The first, goodbye. The second… I wasn’t entirely sure at the time.

Up until then, I had always told my daughters that I loved them with words, and then, often, a single kiss good night on the cheek—that’s what I had known from my mom my whole life. It took a surprisingly long time to fully realize that the second kiss was my new way of saying “I love you.”

We parted. All the girls flew home.

We relaxed for another day, and then made the long journey across the Pacific from Fiji to LA. Jet-lagged, I stood on the catwalk to the LA parking garage, wishing we were home. That time would come, just two years later! But, that day, we had five more hours in the air to get home to Virginia.

Weeks later, for a “Bachelor Night” party, we had a crowd of Reagan’s girlfriends over. I was thrilled to see Haley among them. I greeted her at the door. We hugged. As we hugged, I kissed her, again, on her forehead.

She and Reagan “high-fived!” I was surprised; almost shocked. I still don’t know what they meant. But over the years, I wondered if they were celebrating the answer to Haley’s query to Reagan: “Why did he kiss me?” I guess at Reagan’s answer, from her own experience, “It means that he loves you, you know, like his own daughter.”

We saw Maya, Grace, Haley and Jessica at various intervals. Over time, the girls have grown up, gone to college and out into the world.

But, for a magical two weeks, we were a family. I loved each of them as my own.

Not all families stay together.

Sometimes, love is bittersweet.