Principles, Parenting & Purpose

Don’t Do It

April 10, 2022

'Photo-realistic cinematic wide shot of a community garden at morning — an array of raised wooden planter boxes (4 feet by 8 feet each) arranged in a grid with pea gravel walking-paths between them. Some boxes are completely overgrown with weeds, untended. Other boxes have lettuce and tomatoes growing but with weeds intermixed, partial-tending. In the center of the frame, ONE box shows perfect order — neat rows of sprouting beets, carrots, lettuce, and tomatoes in dark rich soil, weed-free, flawlessly tended. A person is kneeling with their back to the camera, absorbed in tending the center box. Warm morning light, gentle shadows, quiet. Solo figure. The register: cultivating one''s own garden while others'' remain untended, without judgment, without reaching over.' — Yours To Tend—Aurora

For longer than I can remember, I’ve been trying to understand how to help others live their best lives.

During his Podcast discussion with Matias De Stefano, Aubrey Marcus expresses a similar desire in a follow-up question about how to help / awaken family and friends and lead them to a better life.

Matias’s answer for Aubrey was simple:

“Don’t do it.”

Later in the discussion, Aubrey shares the parable of Zusha:

In this classic story, the great and wise teacher Rabbi Zusha was found agitated and upset as he lay on deathbed. His students asked, “Rabbi, why are you so sad? After all the great things you have accomplished, your place in heaven is assured!” “I’m afraid!” Zusha replied, “Because when I get to heaven, God won’t ask me ‘Why weren’t you more like Moses?’ or ‘Why weren’t you more like King David?’ God will ask ‘Zusha, why weren’t you more like Zusha?’ And then what will I say!?”

Aubrey, concludes the lesson:

“Just be yourself.”

Matias, responds simply:

“Yep. That’s the whole point.”

Don’t try to help others to be their best selves. Just be yourself.

That’s what you’re here to do.

✨ Want more?

Buy the book on Amazon »

Excerpted from Hows It Works? by Mark Poesch.

← Back to contents