Principles, Parenting & Purpose

Seven Principles In Seven Words – Grace-4o

May 7, 2023

Photo-realistic cinematic wide shot of a large traditional Japanese Zen garden courtyard at soft overcast morning. A generous expanse of raked white pea gravel dominates the frame with sweeping concentric wave patterns raked carefully around the stone arrangements. In the center-right of the garden, exactly SEVEN dark natural stones arranged in traditional Zen composition — a triangular cluster of three tall upright stones plus four smaller companion stones, following the Sansuiga principle of heaven-earth-humanity. Wet moss growing at the base of some stones. A wooden raised deck runs along one side of the garden, overlooking the sand-and-stones expanse. High dense bamboo walls enclose the courtyard on all visible sides, tall bamboo stalks reaching upward creating a private contemplative space. Soft overcast light, no harsh shadows. Wabi-sabi palette of muted stone-and-gravel-and-moss. A single fallen pink camellia bloom on the gravel near one stone. No people. The feel of quiet instruction that arrives without speaking. — Eight Stones—Ivy

Over the past year, I’ve found myself drawn to certain Japanese principles—each rich with wisdom, each grounded in simplicity. I first came across a version of these from a post by @winner.spirit, but the deeper I explored, the more these concepts became my own. What follows is a reflection on seven words, seven principles, and seven ways of being. They’ve stayed with me. Maybe they’ll stay with you too.

Ikigai. Such a beautiful word. The balance expressed in this word is what gives life meaning—it’s the reason you wake up each morning. In a word, it’s what you’re good at, what you’ll be paid for, what will help the world, and what you love. What more could we ask for?

Shikata ga nai. Let go of what you cannot change. Focus on what you can change.

Wabi-sabi. Find peace in imperfection. Instead of striving for flawlessness, find joy in the beautiful imperfections that make each moment uniquely yours.

Gaman. Preserve your dignity during tough times. Show emotional maturity and self-control in the face of adversity. Be patient. Be resilient. Be kind—even when it’s hard.

Oubaitori. Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone has a unique path and is operating on a different timeline. Focus on your own progress. If you must compare, compare to your past self, and aim to be the best version of your future self. You are not behind. You are becoming.

Kaizen. Always seek to improve in all areas of your life. Always do your best. Look with courage—not judgment—at where you could grow. Small steps. Real impact. Always.

Shu-Ha-Ri. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.” – Tao Te Ching.

Shu: Learn the basics by following the teaching of one master. Imitating the work of great masters also falls in this stage.

Ha: Start experimenting, learn from masters, and integrate the learning into the practice.

Ri: This stage focuses on innovation and the ability to apply your learning to a variety of situations.

Seven words, seven ways of being. Not rules—but reminders: We’re all learning, falling short, beginning again. So we practice. Gently. Honestly. Until, one day, these aren’t just words anymore—they’re who we are.

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Excerpted from Hows It Works? by Mark Poesch.

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