Principles, Parenting & Purpose

Honor Thy Mother And Father

November 15, 2020

“Honor thy father and thy mother” — Exodus 20:12 | Wikipedia

Why not the other way around?

Simple: the true and complete love for a child that is the proper role for a parent needs no mandate. That love goes far beyond honor, into realms which are understood only by parents who know they would die for their children.

But, honoring the child does not mean tolerating a lack of discipline. Quite the contrary. Though the ways in which a parent must honor a child might often seem contradictory from the outside—time outs or, heaven forbid, spanking, seem like the opposite of “honoring”—compassionate discipline is essential to the child’s mental health and development.

Through the loving communication of that discipline over the years, the child learns self-discipline. A child that has learned self-discipline, is then able to discern right from wrong, and becomes self-sufficient—capable—honored far beyond any child that has not been properly disciplined.

Love is the ultimate measure; if all motivations of the parent come from true love for the child, the child will be honored.

There are no rules which are sufficient to proscribe the relationship. Every moment of every relationship is unique, and love is the only principle which offers any certainty in navigating those moments.

This is a sacred trust. Parents who take on the role and responsibility without appreciating the gravity will inevitably learn the hard way.

Part of the traditional wedding vows reads: “Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”

But, we generally take no vows before conceiving a child.

Perhaps the same reverence suggested by the traditional wedding vows should be brought to the process of bringing a new life into this world.

Far more than with marriage, beginning the relationship with a child is not a step which should be taken “unadvisedly.”

You will honor the child, or you will suffer the consequences for decades to come.