Principles, Parenting & Purpose

A Purpose Driven Life

May 11, 2024

“The will to cast your fate” — Rubicon (2023 Remaster)

Long ago, a good friend recommended Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Reflecting on my experience with the book, I remember being horribly depressed by Rick’s perspectives. I left the book feeling a profound lack of purpose in my life. Perhaps, because of popular quotes such as:

“It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance and destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end.”

Over two decades later, that still comes across as an extreme perspective. I understand the underlying truth. However, I believe that such proclamations often do as much harm as they do good. There’s a certain sort of violence in the extremism of the characterization—rather than an invitation to deeply experience God’s Love, it’s easily felt as damnation.

But looking back on the first publication date, 2002, I also realize that was a particularly vulnerable moment for me to be tackling a purpose driven life. I was a year into divorce, in a new home, desperately trying to rebuild my family—my new half-time life with my children, Alexandra and Nicholas.

We’ll get to the topics of religion, faith and God in the final chapter. For now, I’d just like to take a moment to emphasize that values, principles and purpose come in many shapes and sizes; just as we humans do. Our current context is far removed from our ultimate destination—this is the very nature of growth. Uncertainty is part of our journey. And questioning is essential.

As we explore our values, form our goals and pursue our purpose, a delicate balance is essential. We must explore the path forward with faith—whatever that means to each of us in each moment. But an essential aspect of faith is gaining comfort with unknowing. We don’t have all the answers. We don’t need all the answers.

You can pursue a purpose-driven life without knowing or believing in God. But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. If other’s notions of God turn you off, they’re not for you—let them go. Learn to accept that there’s a lot that you don’t know—that’s OK.

Pay attention: be interested and open to what’s true, explore, discover, and learn. There’s plenty of purpose for you to discover in your own way. Some paths are more direct than others, but there are no dead ends. Whether you believe it or can accept it now, or not, God has a plan for your life. When you find your way to that path, it will be awesome, and filled with purpose.