Principles, Parenting & Purpose

Do Not Withhold The Good

November 15, 2020

“Turn your eyes from your hands to the heavens / Kill your pride, turn your fear to a weapon” — Livingston - Shadow (Official Visualizer)

“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.” – Proverbs 3:27 (KJV)

Throughout my travels of the world and the cities of the United States, when approached and asked for help, it has always been my policy to immediately offer what I could—usually a \$20 bill—without judgement or expectation.

In Washington, D.C. at Lincoln Waffle in December 2012, instead, I invited the gentleman who asked me for help outside to step inside with me to order breakfast. Without exception, the result of each of these encounters has been “overwhelmed gratitude.”

As I write this, my most recent encounter was on the northbound Caltrain from Gilroy in February 2020—just a week before everything changed. A gentleman approached and asked if the train was headed to San Francisco. I affirmed that the final two stops were on the south side of San Francisco.

He wore safety glasses and a ski cap. His graying beard might have completed the visage of a crazy Santa. He asked if he could join me. Sitting in just one of the four seats—two sets, facing each other—I said “yes” without further consideration, and moved my backpack to make room.

He held out his hand, we shook hands, and he sat down. His hands were rough; the hands of a workman. Left knee to left knee, we sat across from each other, and he explained:

He was on the way to his work site. He had his tools. He was ready to go to work. As if to clarify these points, he opened up his Target bag and pulled out a box knife and a tape measure. He placed each object in turn on the seat to his left; the empty seat in front of me.

We chatted about what I knew of the trip to San Francisco. “How long? How many stops? Where in the city?” I had never been to the final stop, so my knowledge was sparse. But it didn’t seem to matter. He drifted in and out of consciousness. Then, leaning forward, he began to drip.

Whether from his nose or mouth, through the beard it wasn’t clear. He switched to Spanish, and told me of “the girl in the gold bikini.” I presumed he was remembering a beach… a pool from his past… or a dream of the future. He lapsed in and out of consciousness, and in and out of English and Spanish as he rambled. Now, incoherent, in spite of my efforts to keep up. He seemed to have so much to share, and I worked earnestly to understand what he was saying.

By now I was keenly aware that he lived on the street. And I had pieced together the realization that it was unlikely that he was headed to anything resembling a job site.

After drifting off, he woke again, and began counting the coins he held in his left hand. He dropped several. I reached down to help him collect one or two, and handed them back. I could see the worry in his eyes transition to relief as I returned the coins.

I pulled out my wallet and thumbed through my cash—all I had with me—one ten and eleven ones. I pulled out the bills, folded them, and held them out to him.

Surprised, he took the bills. After absently folding through the bills for a moment, he stood up as the train pulled up to the next stop. Without a word, he walked around the corner near the doors, leaving his Target bag and “tools” in the seat in front of me. I sat thoughtfully and waited for him to return.

I couldn’t see where he stood, but I suspected that he was overcome with emotion and had stepped away out of embarrassment. A stop or two later, I concluded that he wasn’t coming back. His tools remained on the seat in front of me when I got up for my stop.

A week later, the whole world began to turn upside down….

Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it is within your power to act.

And, “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil” …or the dripping man in the time of the Coronavirus.