Passion, Experience & Growth

Growth In The Extreme

May 9, 2023

“I spoke to the devil today, and he swears he’s not to blame, and I understood, because I feel the same.” — Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side Of Heaven

Cristina Lopes invited me to explore my experience with trauma. In her video, she points out that trauma is not limited to the mind—it is also retained within the body, and the spirit.

Her perspective lines up with the work done by the folks at the Boulder Crest Foundation. I was honored to serve with them—literally, breakfasts—in 2017 and 2018 before leaving Virginia.

Boulder Crest pivots the entire narrative of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) to a new idea: Post Traumatic Growth (PTG). Their group recognized that people must grow to accommodate their experiences; combat, offering incredibly high energies—good, bad, chaotic—demands a radical expansion in the individual’s capacity to adapt to those energies and the experiences.

The experience of love on the battlefield is particularly difficult for warriors, because our culture so poorly understands true love. It’s not just brotherhood, and it’s not just the willingness to die for another. Though, those are already two extraordinary aspects of the experience. Beyond these is the shared purpose—moving forward with a mission in the face of life & death odds—often, tested with literal, physical wounds and death. Although few warriors see what they’ve done as “love” there is often a profound sense that they have sacrificed to a level that no one will ever understand. Acts of service is a love language. And service at the edge of life and death, is one of the ultimate forms of love.

Sadly, returning with no physical injury does not mean there was no injury. On the contrary, the entire experience has stretched the individual to the breaking point. Those who can adapt, will adjust and move forward largely unscathed.

But many are unprepared for their experiences. No amount of training can expand the awareness, or prepare for the reality of the battlefield. This is especially true in combat zones involving civilians; old men, women and children.

And it’s not just “trauma.” The whole gamut of experience, in combat and in ordinary life, stretches us all. Positive experiences in the midst of trauma can cause emotional confusion, and further stretch the individual’s understanding.

“Was this a good experience, or a bad experience? Did I do the right thing, or was I wrong? Was I good, or was I evil?” When the answer to every question comes back as “both,” we’re pushed into a realm that—we often feel—no one else can possibly understand.

It takes courage to discover that’s not true.