Passion, Experience & Growth

What Should I Forgive

June 18, 2021

“It’s the hard way that we’ve been taking, to complete what should easily be done.” — Elliot Easton, The Hard Way

Jordan B. Peterson is well-known for a number of pithy recommendations. One that his daughter Mikhaila noted she has heard since she was four years old:

"Consider: What remarkably stupid things are you doing that you could stop doing that you would stop doing?”

The guidance is probably more appropriate for an adult than a four year-old. But Mikahaila has evolved into adulthood with grace in spite of extraordinary challenges and suffering, so perhaps the guidance was inoculating.

With somewhat relaxed interpretation, we might repurpose the guidance and offer, simply:

“What do you need to forgive?”

If nothing comes to mind, be patient. It’s unlikely you’ll close out the day without encountering at least one or two opportunities.

Start with yourself! Most folks regret or resent something about themselves. Forgiveness is not a way to avoid effort; rather, it requires an honest regard for your deficiencies and invites forgiveness first, followed by immediate small steps toward improvement. No step is too small. Effort over the long term is far more powerful than a short term sprint. Be careful not to declare victory too soon. Announcing your goal is not the same as the result from years of quiet dedication to that goal.

If you have found nothing to improve within yourself, then congratulations! But regardless, there are people in your life you need to forgive. You may love them too much, allowing attachment and an overemphasis on the special relationship, or too little. Either way… there is work to do. When you trace it all the way back to the origin, you’ll find: there is something to forgive—let go.

Perfect equanimity, now? Don’t worry… the world awaits. The news, social media, politics, cultural revolution, or simply, the weather. At one level or another, problems await—sometimes demand—your attention.

Attitude? Forgiveness. Intention? Forgiveness. Awareness? Now.